Everyday, it gets more and more difficult to swear out all the pent-up tension and stress just to feel better—perhaps you've been doing it for the last few years. If you're the type of person who values personal space and is unafraid to put nosy people in their place, you may find cursing therapeutic. There's always a time and place, however, and you don't want to make an instant enemy out of the public eye. Luckily, there are better ways to ward people off without uttering a single word; here's a whole list!
How to Establish Your Boundaries
It can be quite difficult for some people to assert their personal space or boundaries, especially when they can't confront others and express their feelings out loud. When it does come to that point, they may find themselves in an awkward and very uncomfortable situation.
If you find this part of the article relatable, here are 5 tips for establishing the personal space that you value and so deserve:
- Have a benchmark for up to which point you can tolerate.
Being unaware of your and other people's limits tends to spiral into trouble. Aside from clarifying what grinds your gears, you need to also define your intellectual, emotional, and spiritual boundaries to lessen any future conflicts.
Should you have any history of a fight involving your personal space, examine at what point did someone cross the line and cause any form of resentment, discomfort, or frustration. In the long run, reflecting on this matter will give you a boundary chart to assess if someone is overstepping.
- Do not misconstrue assertiveness with being disrespectful.
If possible, you can try using disclaimers, clarifications, and a couple of civil gestures. Communicate your personal rules and let people you see regularly be aware of your limitations. Assert your personal boundaries, but also be sure to make them clear from the get-go.
Furthermore, always keep in mind that being assertive neither means acting scary nor ill-mannered; despite being in an unpleasant situation, try to maintain your composure. Ask yourself these questions and carefully consider your response:
- Did someone incorrectly say my words? Repeat what you said in a calm and collected manner.
- Is there any unwanted presence near me? Calmly walk out or explain why you need to be left alone (if they are approaching you).
- Is there any specific topic being discussed that makes you uncomfortable? Tell your companions why it needs to be avoided and offer a new topic to discuss.
- Are you being forced to do something (e.g., extra assignment, difficult task) beyond your personal limitations? Immediately reject the offer and offer alternative solutions (e.g., forward the task to someone more suited for it, negotiate a later deadline).
- Make it an everyday practice to value certain reservations.
The old saying is true: the more you practice something, the better you become better at it. For the matter at hand, establishing your boundaries will not only be easier to do but will look more natural than it used to be. Sometimes people are surprised by assertive behavior not because it is wrong to be like that, but because it simply deviates from your personality.
Contrary to popular belief, when you can express your feelings and the value you have for personal space, the opinions of others should not affect you as much as they did before. Always keep in mind that other people's inability to grasp what maintains your self-respect, peace, and dignity is not a shortcoming on your end.
- Learn to ignore people when they do not understand your boundaries.
Regardless of the platform or place, if you feel violated, it's already reasonable for you to just walk out, block someone, and be where you feel safest. Believe it or not, it's easier and better to move on from things without wasting your time and breath. During this time, you also need to be firm and fully knowledgeable of your own worth.
- Remind yourself that you deserve to have yourself and your personal space respected.
The reminder can be in the form of anything personal or special to you, such as a t-shirt, figurine, or even a bedroom wall decor. These can also be a creative outlet for you to release pent-up anger and frustration from dealing with difficult people.
Say It With a Neon Sign
If you've tolerated enough of this, you might not help but explode at any given moment. Being the nice person you are isn't always so fun and easy, especially when people abuse the kindness you show. You're also not the type to hurt people's feelings with a mouthful. How about getting a fuck off neon sign and release all this negative energy at home instead? A neon LED light improves the aesthetic of your room even more with this #NoFilter design.